Saturday 28 May 2011

WHY WE SIGH …

by Dr Whacko underBill !

It is popularly known that shopping alleviates moods (called Onimania, discovered over a century ago) and a feeling of depression, but how does economic depression impact buying behavior? Experts believe, something in the act of shopping releases a chemical in the brain known as serotonin, which is closely involved in the control of mood (low levels of serotonin have been linked to depression and other mood problems). Shopping isn't the only thing to raise serotonin levels. Exercise can help, as can certain types of food (including carbohydrates and chocolate, which explains why some people eat to feel better).
To gain insights into this and more, Dr W.U. attempts to unravel the Shoppers’ “windmills of the mind”, and come back richer in the process.

I go crazy when I reach the Cash Till. I have to wait a lot, but that’s not the problem. The chocolates at the Impulse counter drive me nuts, and I end up buying a bag-load.
Do a rehearsal before every shopping trip. Soon as you get close to the cashier-queues, wear your shades, shut your eyes and clutch on to the good-looking guy ahead. Feel your way thru’ the entire wait and use it to exchange phone numbers, CVs, whatever. If you’re lucky he may even pay your bill, and you would have resisted the calories.

What do you think of the new Winter collection? Should I be buying bright colours?
To go with the current rage on the streets, buy more of greys, beiges and pale yellows. Black is an evergreen. You can even catch your neighbourhood stockbroker wearing them. Whatever size fits you, buy 1 or 2 sizes larger. Depression causes overeating and hence obesity, and you may not be able to buy the next Collection. Set a trend and use patches of Darning on your new clothes. By the time they grow old and need to actually fix some, it will look cool. Also look for lined collars on shirts, you will be working a lot the next 2 years to keep your job.


My kid’s pestering me for a bicycle, which one should I buy? He is 5 years old.
Buy the largest size available. Maybe he will fall a few times while learning and lose a few teeth. But that’s fine, since he’ll grow new one’s anyway. The upside is – since fuel will get obscenely expensive and you won’t be able to drive to the job that you don’t have, the cycle will come in handy.

Shoppers may write in with their questions to Dr W.U. The one’s that do not get shredded will be replied to in the subsequent issues of the Blog.

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